Are you all alone? Do you have no one to play with? Nowhere to go? Nothing to do?
Same here.
And we're not alone! - I mean, we're not the only ones! It is the common plight of people sitting in bus shelters, old folks (especially those in old folks' homes), computer programmers, artists without mistresses and husbands. We see it everyday - now:
There are different kinds of boredom: the boredom that sets in when you are a high-flying lawyer with five minutes on your hands for the first time since you left university (when, ironically, you had all the time in the world...), the kind of boredom that sets in when you're waiting in the dole (unemployment pension) queue, the kind of boredom that sets in waiting for any public transport in Sydney (any at all) whether there are other people around or not, the boredom that forces you to read rubbish like this and the kind of boredom that sets in on rainy days.
Firstly, the kind of boredom that sets in when no one is around: Wake up! you fool, you're free!!! No one is around! No one to see! No one to be skeptical! No consequences! You can do the silliest thing you can think of, and NEVER be laughed at! Blow you're nose and smell the roses Mr Matey! All you need is a little imagination, and go!
If you have no imagination here are some suggestions: dance.
any dance. any kind of dance. ever wanted to be a ballerina? Now's your chance! In the privacy of your own loneliness! The heel toe polka is achievable for those of us with more than one left foot. If you're in Julie Andrews Mode, sing at the same time, and pretend you're frolicking on the hill top!
climb a tree. this is something that seemed silly when you were thirteen, imagine how much sillier it will seem now that you're thirty!!! And when you're bored and alone, you can do it without anyone chiding you, except the voices in your head! Still: there's more! Climbing a tree is silliest when you're alone, because there's no one to call the ambulance! Congratulate yourself with the knowledge that this pasttime is of supreme silliness!
For more tips on how to be silly, see our silly page.
Things to do when you're bored, there are lots of people around and you don't mind humiliating yourself
The same options are open to you as if you were alone. You may do the silliest things with the added bonus of painful painful humiliation! Become a street performer! A clown!
If you don't want to be loud, crude, rude and obtrusive, there are some more subtle ways fo humiliating yourself. A very popular method among the senile is picking your nose. I'll leave it to someone else to fil you in on the finer points of that activity (see - I'm not so rude and crude...). Also, rolling in dirt, pulling at your hair and looking generally dishevelled is a lovely way. Rotten eggs wafting stench from your pockets will add authenticity, as will a bottle in a brown bag and a beanie is highly recommended.
A particularly effective technique for those of us who want to see a reaction from their audience is scratching at yourself (it doesn't matter where on yourself) as thoough you had fleas. Coupled with the dishevelled-look, this scratching can be very convincing. With just a little bit of practice you will be scratching where there is no itch and you'll soon be looking like a natural.