Who is Mrs Handbag? That's a fine question, and one that we attempt to answer on this page. She could just be an innocent girl, going about with her daily business ... but that would be too easy. Instead, here, for the first time EVER we, Spim and Spim, attempt to uncover the evility that constitutes ... MRS HANDBAG!

The story of Mrs Handbag is like so many stories that relate to the contest between good and evil. Mrs Handbag is actually a smiley, seemingly innocent schoolgirl who grins just a bit too much. Only after she sat in front of Spim and Spim was her true nature revealed - pure malevolence. And hers is malevolence such has never been seen before! Or since! A fine example of her evility is the day that she heartlessly decapitated a poor, purely innocent tortoise eraser, named Terence. But there is time for such stories later. This is only the tip of the iceberg of her evilness, which so many refuse to believe!

The name 'Mrs Handbag' is actually the shortened form of 'Mrs Rafter's Handbag's in the Jacuzzi', which is a conglomeration of many characteristics pertaining to the individual now known as Mrs Handbag: most notably her fanatical love for Pat Rafter and her gullibility that allowed her to be tricked into believing that there was a jacuzzi in my room.

However, the Handbag part of the name, together with the accompanying action, originated from the sole action of raising a handbag and sound of 'oooh!' that old ladies do when something risqué has been said, just before they bash the handbag in to the side of your head. The evility of this act has resulted in the correlation with the being that is now Mrs Handbag.

Well, because we are such slackers, we haven't as yet gotten around to recording Mrs Handbag or the proper and correct way to say 'Oooh! Mrs Handbag!', but we promise we'll get around to it soon. Yes, yes we will.

Until then, we will leave you with various tales of Mrs Handbag's evility: 

Mrs Handbag has proven herself once more to be the MOST evil being on earth, some Friday in mid-November '98, in a similar event to that in with which her evility was first revealed. Up until today, Mrs Handbag has continued to commit evil deeds at a constant rate. We cannot reveal all of them for the purposes of censorship, and we don't have that much memory available. We will mention, however, that some person's legs were found outside bus windows, while the bus was in motion no less, as a truck driver was passing. Beside that incident, there's been so much more, normal, plain NASTY evil stuff.

But today, she once again bit the head off another defenceless eraser. This time, a green and pink striped zebra (God rest his soul)! I (Jesspim) was not there to witness the horrific incident (I thank my lucky stars, it's a wonder, a miracle that the witnesses didn't die of shock!), but I have been greatly moved by the least heart-felt accounts of the eraser's death. For after Mrs handbag decapitated this eraser (one of God's own creatures!) with her teeth, she continued to chew the rest of its limp body with her teeth! oh! I must go now, before I break down with tears, shed for the poor beast. Such senselessness! Oh!

Mrs Handbag has now eaten a duck-car from Lizzie's Kinder Surprise. This update is in no way funded by Fererro (manufacturers of all your favourite chocolates), especially at this time of the year, when we are all trying to choose the best Easter egg to express our love for all our friends and family, nor for mother's day, when only the best is good enough, and not for any birthdays. Rather, it is another example of her evility. For Mrs Handbag not only ate the duck-car (with its innocent little beak) but she ate it in one bite AND ate it several times over. Each time she took it out of her mouth and taunted us with it's innocence only to savagely devour it again, the insatiable, evil, school girl that she is! You can imagine our terror.

We must not forget to mention the day that she squirted hydrochloric acid into JarviSpim's face. And her excuse: 'No, it's water.'! That she should fool us into letting her squirt us more! Evil!